


The True Measure of Leadership

by FailureArtist



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Kink Meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-17
Updated: 2011-11-17
Packaged: 2017-10-26 05:23:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/279172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FailureArtist/pseuds/FailureArtist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the completely canon account of how Karkat got to be the leader of both teams.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The True Measure of Leadership

You stand on a castle tower in the middle of your godforsaken land. You hate the Land of Pulse and Haze, but you think you’ll be more impressive if you’re in your own kingdom as the Hero of Blood. That was a dumb idea. You are surrounded by reminders of your mutant blood. It’s sapping your confidence.

The whole thing was Future Karkat’s idea. That arrogant asshole didn’t think you could figure this out on your own. What makes him think he know everything about you? Okay, so he does know everything about you. He doesn’t have to rub it in your face.

The self-appointed Leader of the Blue Team drops down into your land and makes a surprisingly graceful landing for such a large and clumsy troll. He adjusts his glasses and then bores down on you. You sigh angrily just at his appearance. He scowls right back at you.

He says to you, “What makes you think you can usurp me, lowblood?”

You snap back, “You’re a usurper yourself, hypocrite! Sollux was suppose to be the leader of the Blue Team. He made the fucking game in the first place!”

Equius replies, “I admire your loyalty to your friends. It is a very…noble trait.”

You wait in anticipation. Perhaps Future Karkat was wrong and this was how you convince Equius to accept him. You don’t have to get physical.

“However,” Equius finished, “You are not a noble. Neither you nor Captor deserve to be the leader.”

“Why the fuck not? We’re both gamers! And we’re both programmers! Well, Sollux is at least.”

“That is not enough. As lowbloods, you lack a certain something.”

“I’ll show you something!” you yell.

Before you can think better of it, your hands rush to the button of your jeans. You unzip your pants and push them down in one quick movement.

The Heir of Void’s gasp is so loud people the next land over can hear it. You could drown in the puddle he’s standing in.

He finally manages to move his huge jaw enough to say something. “Oh my….and it’s red too…”

“Yep, I’m a mutant. A mutant in my pants.” You feel more confident now than an fleet of Rufios.

Equius points his sausage fingers at it. You step back a little.

“Is…is it flaccid?” he asks.  
“Yes, so flaccid it’s almost retracting. And no, you can’t touch it.”

“I would never…it would be so depraved.”

You put it away and zip up your pants. Equius sighs, and then remembers himself. He straightens himself up and looks you in the eye.

“I hereby relinquish my position as Leader of the Blue Team to Karkat Vantas,” he declares.

“Yeah, yeah, and the trumpets sound as the Prince of Void knights me. Ceremonies over, time for you to get.”

Equius twirls his hair sheepishly. “Is that an order?”

You bark back, “Yes it’s an order! I’m making the orders around here from now on! All the orders! All of them.”

The former leader salutes you. “Yes sir!”

He jumps back up through the portal. You sigh in relief as he goes. What the hell is his deal anyway? It’s like he’s never seen one of those before. Of course, you’ve only seen your own.

Later, you find out why Future Karkat is so smug.


End file.
